6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
