arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
