I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
