it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
