tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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