Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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