She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
