just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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