i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You need Xanax blowdarts
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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