I am in a vortex of obligation.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
