Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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