So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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