Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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