I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that