Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

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  (248): i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards" http://tfl.nu/4vzr
  Replies (19) Good night (608) Bad night (1800) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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  (603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl
  Replies (17) Good night (4603) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

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  (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth. http://tfl.nu/f5s8
  Replies (116) Good night (6534) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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  (417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f
  Replies (12) Good night (3201) Bad night (846)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5573) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...

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  (402): Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being... http://tfl.nu/xmjx
  Replies (11) Good night (3099) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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  (512): We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping" http://tfl.nu/lb53
  Replies (7) Good night (2737) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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  (916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe
  Replies (12) Good night (543) Bad night (4597) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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  (519): you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude http://tfl.nu/j4kw
  Replies (7) Good night (1602) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"

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  (248): So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal" http://tfl.nu/879f
  Replies (6) Good night (1537) Bad night (556)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.

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  (724): I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast. http://tfl.nu/94l7
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.

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  (845): It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother. http://tfl.nu/ow2i
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"

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  (614): Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10" http://tfl.nu/nudo
  Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (898) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.

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  (317): Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here? (1-317): Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0. http://tfl.nu/u5j4
  Replies (1) Good night (246) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt

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