Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(701): View more from North Dakota

you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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(607): View more from New York

she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.

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(718): View more from New York

knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.

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(315): View more from New York

Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.

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