Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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(260): View more from Indiana

People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.

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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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(312): View more from Illinois

THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL

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(716): View more from New York

He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that

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