i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"