I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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