You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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