Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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