I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
