just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
