How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize