i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
