i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
