Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
