Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
