he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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