in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
