How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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