I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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