Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish you could order shots online.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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