I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
