Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
