I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
