4 words: hood of his car
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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