She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My ATM looks so different sober.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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