so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
