i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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