I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
