Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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