My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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