ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
3 2 1 whiskey
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
