I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
