Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
