let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
