I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
