Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
