I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
