well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
