Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
