Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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