sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
