pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just tell him i said nine months
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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