Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
