Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
soo... how was my night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
