She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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