I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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