even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
