Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
