dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
