you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
