my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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