Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
