R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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